If we did all the things we are capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves.
/ Thomass A. Edison /
2018. began with a super lovely New Years celebration. Then I had very calm birthday celebration, on 4th of January, with few friends stepping by for a glass of bubbles. I thought this year will be better than the last, at least I hoped for it. But something isn't right. I've lost myself somewhere on the way. Last year I quit my daily job, I met a person who teaches me to become a better person and to get rid of my flaws I didn't see or want to acknowledge. Those two things I wouldn't change, but the rest is still going somehow wrong. My car is giving me headaches with constant technical problems, I've spent so much money for repairs I could go on a trip around the world if I'd like. And this is happening with most of my technical stuff, like my HDD is dead, my computer wouldn't switch on. On top of all these things, I invest my time in writing blog posts, filming youtube videos, posting Instagram pictures and almost no feedback from people who follows. :( This makes me sad and I start to think weather anyone is even interested in all the content I create. I don't know is it algorithm or is it just me, who doesn't know how to deliver. So my year has started quite pessimistic, quite stressful, quite unhappy. So for all of this I feel tired almost exhausted. So I started to look for ways how to find way back, to who I really am.
I've been working almost freelance since August 2017. And at this point I get tired of constant stress will I have enough job trough the month to be able to cover all expenses. And at this point I get that I feel way better when I feel secure, and stable in my life. I am not the person who doesn't care about tomorrow, I've stopped enjoying my life as I used to do it.
Well, this was a pretty depressed and sad post, but as this is my public diary I though sharing that I have struggle in my life, I have sad days and not everything in my life is posh and amazing is something that explains that I am the same as everyone else with my up's and down's. With happy days and sad days! With victories and defeats! So my goal for now is to do at least one thing everyday that makes me happy. To eat a cake, to buy some flowers, to cook dinner, to have a workout, or sleep more than 8h, no matter what it is, just to love my self and become a better person to people around me. Cause no one likes sad, depressed and angry people :D
P.s. By the way, I would really love to know - does anyone even reads what I write and If yes, please let me know what are you interested in? As most of the time I share everything about beauty & make-up industry I work in. And about my trips and travels. What topics are you interested in more?
Wish you a happy day & I will continue to watch Valentines day movie after that magical 14.february I spent alone at home by the TV! So no flowers, no presents, no romantic moments for me yesterday! As my life partner is currently working in Finland.